More Reasons Why Women Love Horses

A few days ago, I had to cut off on a post that was getting way too long. Today, I'll continue on the topic of Ten Reasons Why Women Love Horses, based on information found in Mary D. Midkiff's great book She Flies Without Wings. The last post covered the first reasons: a natural affinity, sensuality, commitment, creativity, and danger. Now it's time discover the other five ways that horses touch women's souls.


6. Power
Midkiff's section on power starts off with a quote by Anette Foglino: "I get this small surge of power as this giant, loveable beast bends to my whim." The power that horses offer is deep and multi-faceted. There is, of course, the physical power surge. A woman on a horse is equally as powerful as any other person (man, woman, or child) on a horse--and much more powerful than a person on the ground. Women are generally not brawny, brute creatures, but horses to us are like spinach to Popeye. They give us an extra boost of power and strength. There is also mental strength: both the intangible "horsepower" and self esteem. For someone who was never physically talented, I found a certain power in my riding lessons. I wasn't a natural-born rider, but I learned from the horse, and with small steps, I came to the realization that time and effort could make up for my lack of athleticism. This gave me confidence in myself, confidence in both the power of my mind and my body. And of course, there is the strongest power of them all, what I call "horsepower". Horses have this uncanny ability to console and nurture, to reveal things to you about yourself, to push your limits and help you grow, to bring people together and forge bonds. That kind of horsepower is not something we will ever be able to get from a car.

7. Nurturance
"Students as they are of nature, Native Americans looked to the horse as a model of how to lead. ... Time may have passed since those days, but the horse continues to teach us all about nurturing and leadership and how the relate to one another." (She Flies Without Wings, p. 150) It is a horse's instinct to care for themselves. They know how to eat (and eat well!). They are attentive to danger and possible threats. They can keep themselves in shape. Horses can sustain themselves perfectly well, but more than that, they can pamper themselves. Midkiff offers the image of a grazing horse, an "innately self-satisfying" animal. They do not eat whatever is in front of them; they do not consume the needed calories and move on. They search out the best grass, and add some variety with flowers or leaves. As humans, we've fallen into the habit of eating whatever we can get our hands on soonest: from fast food to frozen fish. We put work and family and friends at the top of our lists in both noble and ignoble ways. The problem is that we can't fully take care of other people or problems unless we are taking care of ourselves. A good horse will not only nurture you emotionally, he will teach you to nurture yourself.

8. Transformation through Compassion
To paraphrase She Flies Without Wings, a princess breathes within every broodmare. Surely, we have all known mean horses and mean people. But the bond between women and horses allow for one powerful transformation to occur and bring out the better side of both people and animals. Midkiff has "seen horses transform humans and humans transform horses. ... For most of us, transformation is pretty much a matter of chance or luck. We discover the transforming power of an experience only after we've inadvertently stumbled through it. Horses give us a chance to seek transformation by giving us a partner so challenging and engrossing that it is difficult to be involved with the horse and not be touched in significant ways." Horses can inspire personal growth; they can make us braver, more confident, more trusting, and more understanding people. We humans can also shape a horse; we can show love and compassion to a horse that is not familiar with it. We can rehabilitate neglected horses and teach them to trust in us. We can soften the angry nature of a broodmare to find the "princess" inside them. We can grow courage in a shy, skittish colt. Whether horses are transforming you or you are transforming horses, it is a powerful experience for both human and equine.

9. Spirituality
"In womanhood, horses do seem miraculous" (p. 189). They straddle the line between physical reality and spiritual. Being with horses is meditation, a time to quiet the mind and focus on the soul. The soothing rhythm of hooves, the rocking movement of the canter... They are naturally meditative. In an indoor arena, you are in touch with nature: you can feel the sand under your feet or the breath of an inhuman being on your neck. In an outdoor ring, and especially on a trail, you are even more in touch with nature and the great forces of life--whether you call it God, Gaia, Mother Earth, or simple the Universe. The twinkling stars overhead or the bright sun in the sky look different on horseback. The songs of birds sound different. The wind that hits your face is a different wind than the one that fluttered your skirt as you walked out of the office yesterday. Everything has new meaning, new significance. Horses are ritualistic and spiritualistic. They "[lift] us out of our material word and [carry] us so high above it that we begin to see the threads that connect us to the rest of the universe" (p.195).

10. Acceptance
"Acceptance matters to all of us," Midkiff truthfully states. "It matters because we feel happiest and most comfortable when we are wanted and included... It matters because we have to accept ourselves to reach contentment. Our horses do it innately; we have to work at it." Horses are herd animals, but not every horse is accepted by its herd. Midkiff, in her chapter on acceptance, tells the story of a colt named Bandit, who had to make a place for himself in a pasture herd that rejected him. Bandit did not give up and withdraw like a recluse into the shadows, but he did have to be smart in how he approached the other horses. Instead of living as a reject, he dealt with their initial rejection, and began deliberately easing himself into the herd. By accepting himself and letting go of any fear of rejection, Bandit found a place for himself among the others. As humans, we do not all bounce back from rejection like Bandit. But horses offer us a place to flee when we are rejected, because we know that horses will accept us. They will not reject us because we are poor or ugly or stupid or lonely or confused; and if, for some reason, they do reject us, we know that we can always come back with a treat to gain their good grace. But, as Midkiff points out, "even then... horses aren't enough." We need a human herd, too, even if the people we face aren't always so nice. And as horses teach us to accept ourselves, finding acceptance with others isn't so hard. As the chapter closes, Midkiff relates, "It took a good long while, but I finally claimed for myself what Bandit knew all along: that we have to believe in our worth, that we can work our way into a herd, that there's no sense in beating ourselves up when we fail, and that the ultimate acceptance for any of us is found beneath our own skins. Only then can we truly belong."

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What I've touched on in this post, and in the other, is only the tip of the iceberg for Mary D. Midkiff. Her book is filled with a few more reasons that I did not cover, as well as much more in depth and insightful looks into each. She tells great stories and has uncovered truths that apply to every horse-woman, universally. Her prose is interrupted with beautiful poems (both by her and other writers), wise quotes, and meaningful short stories. It is a touching book, and possibly the most true thing I have ever read. I think every equestrienne should read this book at least once in her lifetime.